The Naughty List Starter Pack
Toy shopping can be… a whole thing.
How do you know what to buy if you’ve never bought one before? What if you’re upgrading? What if you’ve been disappointed one too many times? What if you’re buying something as a gift and don’t want to accidentally traumatize someone’s uncle at Secret Santa?
We’re going there.
Every Friday in December, I’m featuring a curated little bundle of products built around a specific theme.
So let’s kick things off with the Naughty List Starter Pack—AKA: where beginners, re-starters, and “I bought one once and it was terrible” folks should actually start.
Why Buying Your First Toy Feels Weird (But Doesn’t Have To)
Buying your first toy can be intimidating. Sometimes shame and fear of judgment sneak into the process. Sometimes you’re staring at 47 styles and thinking, how do I even know what to #add2cart?
And sometimes the biggest question is: Why is the floor in most adult stores sticky?
(Truly. A mystery for the ages.)
For others, there’s no overthinking, just grabbing whatever seems “fine” because “how different can they be?”
My dear, sweet, reader. Explaining the differences is what I do. It’s what I live for. I’ve been in this industry for over two decades and know are very few bad toys. There are just bad matches. Different toys for different bodies. A little trial and error is normal.
So if I were starting from scratch, or helping someone who is, where would I begin?
With a Banana.
(Yes, really.)
Okay, it doesn’t have to be the Banana, but the Emojibators line makes ridiculously cute, surprisingly powerful starter toys under $50.
They’re discreet, waterproof (You'll see the IPX7 definition at the bottom of this post), have multiple intensity settings, and are perfect for exploring the clitoris and entire vulva. This is the actual area where most people with vaginas actually need stimulation to reach orgasm.
Because friendly reminder: most vagina-owners do not climax from internal stimulation alone. Or at all.
These are ideal for anyone who is:
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intimidated by traditional-looking toys
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worried about noise (they’re whisper-quiet!)
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hiding their toy from kids/roommates and want plausible deniability
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working with the bathroom as the only locking door in the house
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gift shopping
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on a budget
Compact, body-safe silicone, USB rechargeable, travel-friendly, comes with a silky storage bag, this isn’t just a “cute vibe.” It’s a quality vibe.
And if Bananas aren’t your love language, there’s an Eggplant,
a Pickle,
a Chili Pepper ,
and a Tiny Wand that actually is fabulous for jaw massage. (Truly.)
I can't say enough positive things about Emojibators. They really are a great vibe for new players, returning players and Dirty Santa gift exchanges.
Let’s Talk About Lube, Baby.
Lube is not optional in my opinion. Lube is not “only if you need it.” Lube is a relationship-enhancing, pleasure-increasing, friction-reducing necessity.
Even if you think you produce enough naturally, here’s the truth:
After penetrative sex, if things feel dry or itchy… that’s dehydration.
Penises are porous. They absorb moisture like little sponges. Add lube. Save your vulva. Everybody wins.
If you’re budget-conscious (hello, 2025), Sliquid Sea Carrageenan is fantastic—and it’s on sale.
If you’ve got wiggle room in your budget, Sutil Luxe is the closest thing to your body’s own natural lubrication. Long-lasting, velvety, and made right here in Canada on Vancouver Island.
And While We’re Here: Toy Cleanser
If you already have a trusted, pH-balanced, fragrance-free soap at home, you’re totally fine to use that.
However, if you’re a bit of a germophobe (me too) and prefer a cleaner made specifically for toys, grab the Simply Foam & Fresh if you like suds, or my favourite, Simply Cleene. I prefer this one because it's alcohol free which is better for good quality silicone.
It’s also a great add-on if you’re gifting the toy (because you don’t know what they have on hand), or if you’re setting up a first-time toy user and want them to build good habits for caring for their new little friend.
Wait… Is It Okay to Buy One for My Teen?
Short answer: yes.
Your teen can walk into any adult store in Canada and purchase a vibrator. There’s nothing wrong with giving a young person the tools to learn about their own body in a safe, shame-free way.
If you choose to gift one, do so privately and keep it simple, body-safe, and beginner-friendly. Think education, autonomy, and normalizing healthy sexuality, not pushing anything they’re not ready for. The goal is empowerment, not pressure.
Open the door, answer questions, and let them lead the pace. Healthy conversations beat Google and TikTok any day.
But Coralie… I Want Something Next-Level.
Say less.
If you want power in a pocket-sized package, meet the We-Vibe Tango X. This little menace comes with 7 vibration modes, 8 intensity levels, and a silicone grip so it doesn’t go flying when things get enthusiastic. It’s IPX7 waterproof, precision-focused, and genuinely responsible for ruining people for cheaper bullets. Shower, bath, bed—she performs everywhere.
Or, if you want the world’s most iconic vibe in a travel-ready size, the Magic Wand Micro is your girl. Palm-sized, USB-C rechargeable, and still delivering those unmistakable deep, rumbly vibrations—up to 6,500 RPM. With a soft silicone head, flexible neck, and 3 speeds + 4 patterns, this isn’t a “mini version.” It’s a full-force experience disguised as something innocent.
Smaller toys. Legendary power. Zero regrets.
And there you have it—the official Naughty List Starter Pack: a vibe, a lube, and a cleanser. Everything you (or someone you love) needs to get on the Naughty List in the best possible way.
Treat yourself, start someone’s journey, or make December a little more… spirited.
PS: If you want it under the tree in Canada, get your order in by December 18th.
*IPX7: Fancy way of saying your toy can take a dip—up to 1 meter, for 30 minutes—without tapping out. Just don’t expect any dust protection, because that part didn’t get tested.